(Ridiculous) Rules of Writing

I felt compelled to share this hilarious poem about the rules of writing with all of you out there:

Borrowed from Anne R. Allen I would suggest you go take a look at the whole post after you’ve giggled yourself silly with this little treat:

 

Here is a little verse I stole from Dorothy Parker wrote about those rules, based on Dorothy Parker’s hilarious poem, “The Lady’s Reward“.

Rules for the Beginning Novelist
…with apologies to Dorothy Parker
Newbie author, never pen
Background story till page ten.
Use no flashbacks—no, nor prologue.
Never start your book with di’logue.
Set the hero’s hair on fire.
Keep the situation dire.
Write in genres tried and true
From a single point of view.
Tell your tale in linear time.
Avoid a plot that strains the mind.
No dead kids, bad priests, abuse
Or politics in your debuts.
Copy last year’s biggest hit.
No one wants to read new @#%* Make it light but never funny. (Humor’s too subjective, honey.)
And if that gets you published kid,
You’ll be the first it ever did.
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